


Kissing just for Practice

by moonbee



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Love, M/M, Pining, Romance, Slow Build, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-26 02:03:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13847748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonbee/pseuds/moonbee
Summary: "Butters had shushed him, 'Kissing just for practice, right?' He asked and Kenny had nodded. The words rung in his ears now. As they did every time. They weren't just kissing anymore but for Kenny everything they did was still just for practice."Butters knows Kenny is seeing other people. It's part of what he signed up for. Kenny is just trying to make people happy. The longer it goes in the more it makes their hearts ache.





	Kissing just for Practice

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by the song 'Seeing other people' by Belle and Sebastian. You don't have to have heard it to understand the story but I strongly recommend you do, purely on the bases that it is a beautiful and quaint song and very close to my heart. I will follow a format of posting lyrics at the begging and end of each chapter in the notes so here goes.
> 
> Just to clarify the characters are all around 17-18 the age of consent in Colorado (according to Google) is 17 (given the other person is under 10 years older than them)
> 
> "A hand over my mouth  
> A hand over the window  
> Well, if I remain passive and you just want to cuddle  
> Then we should be okay, and we won't get in a muddle,"

Butters and Kenny had a strange relationship, in that, it explicitly could not be called a relationship at all. 

Butters visited Kenny's most weekends and every Friday, when his dad went out to strange bars and his mom went on long drives. When no one cared where Butters was. 

Kenny's parents didn't seem to care either. It seemed to Butters that they were used to people in Kenny's room, in their house, wherever. As long as he didn't eat their food or use their water.

So now Butters was in Kenny's bed, sat upright and perched over his stomach and Kenny's fingers were dug into Butters' sides, so deep they turned the skin under them white and the skin around them red. And Butters could see that because he was pretty much naked, save for his socks and underwear, which he was yet to rid himself of. Kenny was in a similar state, nude other than a grubby Nirvana t-shirt.

Except the whole act was empty.

Butters thought Kenny probably saw a working week through the eyes of a gigolo. Except where a gigolo was paid with money, Kenny's payment was making people who needed pity happy. And he usually did that with sex. Butters guessed he must need a lot of pity. He was Kenny's best customer. That was not to say that Butters payed Kenny, not in anything more than his company which Butters saw as pretty worthless anyway but he knew what was happening was no more than a transaction for Kenny. 

Butters leant forward and kissed him. Kenny kissed back, his hold on Butters loosening. Their lips slipped together against the rhythm of needy movements. Butters whined softly at the feeling of Kenny's hands sliding over him, groping him gently, his fingers probing against Butters' underwear.

When Butters pulled away he braced himself with his hand pressed up against the uncovered window. If anyone walked by they might see straight in to the whole scene inside the bedroom but hardly anyone walked down Kenny's road and certainly no one who did cared. His hand slipped through the grim condensation on the inside of the McCormick's widows leaving a trail in the wake of his fingers. They had single panes, no heating and poor circulation. His other hand came over his mouth and he bit down on it hard, holding back his moans and noises. He left it there stayed until they were finished, not only a blockade for his noises but for each other's lips. When he finally pulled his palm away it had a set of deep teeth marks in it to show what had happened. Butters hoped they wouldn't bruise.

The sex had been good, it always was. Though Butters had nothing to compare it to, Kenny was not only his first but his only. But he guessed for Kenny to be in such high demand he must be good. It felt good. So Butters should consider himself lucky he supposed. He was breathing heavily, little noises still escaping him rather than words, his skin was red and his eyes were lazy, half closing. Kenny had once told him he looked good when he was 'fucked out' and Butters couldn't see why but he didn't argue. Kenny looked pretty tired too. Butters watched from his perch on Kenny's stomach as he slowly evened his breathing. Kenny's hair was even messier than usual and his chest was covered in long red scratch lines Butters had left there with his nails. He almost felt bad for leaving them. Almost.

There were a few rules to Kenny. One of which was cuddling could only happen after sex. Not before or during, only after. He remained a passive character as Butter's lay over him, tired and dull. Skin on skin once they'd finished. The sheets were sweat covered, and Butters rejoiced in that they smelt like Kenny, who pulled them up over the both of them as a protection from the harsh cold of his room now that the heat of sex had worn off. Butters let his arms brace tight on Kenny's ribs and listened to his heart beat through his chest, slowing on the comedown of sex.

After a few minuets Butters felt Kenny's arms slip over his back and hug him back but not tight. They fell into a light sleep, both exhausted. 

-

When Butters woke Kenny was already up and moving about, putting a fresh set of clothes on. Well as fresh as Kenny McCormick could manage. Butters lamented a little, in mourning of Kenny's naked form. He was so beautiful naked, like something sculpted. Made of marble. 

His hair was wet which meant he must have had a shower or at least a wash in the basin. Butters might have felt he missed out on not sharing a shower with Kenny had he not known for a fact that the McCormick residence had little to no hot water and a shower that resembled a petri dish in some sort biological research lab. They had tried sharing once the whole thing lasted less than five minutes, both of them freezing and covered in goosebumps, there wasn't even enough water coming out the shower head to cover one of them, then Mrs McCormick had started banging on the door yelling about water waste.

Butters stared blankly, quietly resigned from his position on the bed, watching Kenny get ready in the manor Butters had seen him do many times. It was a little unusual however, usually on days like this they wouldn't bother putting themselves back together in favour for staying in bed together for the rest of the day. Kenny was yet to notice he was awake and watching him. Butters was hesitant to break the spell.

Nevertheless, Butters stretched out in the bed and felt frozen air hit his feet where they had escaped the blanket. The springs in the dingy old mattress complained vocally at his movement and Butters felt them resettle uncomfortably against him. Kenny turned to look at him, he must have caught the movement from the corner of his eye or, more likely, heard the mattress. Their eyes met lazily, "Hey, Baby," Kenny's voice crooned.

"Mm' love it when you call me that," Butters replied with a voice still full of sleep. He dragged his limbs against coarse but worn the sheets and turned to properly face Kenny. 

A smile passed quickly over Kenny's face, gone before Butters could really appreciate it. Butters sighed and stretched again. He was cramped from sleep, he always was when he slept in Kenny's bed, probably because the mattress was so old that the springs dug into his body and the center of it was dipped uncomfortably low from years of use. Not that he minded, sharing a bed with Kenny was one of the only things that filled him with genuine joy. But his cramp did make him wonder how long he had been asleep.

He groped for his phone where he had left it on the bedside table while he and Kenny had still been making out and checked the time, almost six PM, he had slept for two hours and he was still exhausted, mind you, that wasn't unusual after sex with Kenny, it could be rather overstimulating, and by extension cause huge fatigue.

"Mind if I sleep here tonight?" Butters asked anxiously before adding, "I could tell my parents I'm at Eric Cartman's house," Butters slept at Kenny's quite a lot nowadays, especially on days like this and usually it turned into a whole weekend in Kenny's bed. Butters liked it like that, it made Monday easier.

Kenny looked at him with sad eyes and shook his head before answering, "No can do I'm afraid. Kyle's parents are out of town and he asked me to go keep him company this weekend. I'm going there now" he explained.

Butters tried not to let his emotions show, though he felt his face drop. He knew what that meant, _keep him company._ It meant that Kenny was off for a dirty weekend with someone who wasn't him. Another lover.

"Can you pass me my clothes?" Butters asked.

"Sure," Kenny gathered up the clothes that had been strewn across the floor in a manor that Butters would never conceive of doing in his own home and passed them to the boy still wrapped up in bed.

Butters took them from him and turned away, changing with his back turned to Kenny and his body under the covers, protecting his modesty as if they had not just spent hours having sex with each other. As if Kenny did not know every inch of his flesh. As if Butters didn't want him to.

He knew he couldn't get angry at Kenny. He had to be objective. There were a queue of boys lined up for him and Butters had known that since they first got involved. He had been one of them, _still was one of them, in a sense._ And Kenny had always told him that he was 'seeing other people'. Of course back then he had been naïve. 

As he had put it once, laying on the bed as Kenny stammered to explain to him their state of affairs Butters had shushed him, 'Kissing just for practice, right?' And Kenny had nodded. The words rung in his ears now. As they did every time. They weren't just kissing anymore but for Kenny everything they did was still just for practice.

Butters turned back around once he was dressed and looked at the back of Kenny's head, he was half heatedly running product through his hair in the mirror. Their eyes caught in the rust-stained glass. Blue on blue. Except Kenny's blue was almost lapis in colour and Butters was more like the sky in mid summer. 

Once dressed, Butters slid out of the bed, resenting the cold room. He dropped his gaze to the ground and watched his feet brush against the bare wood floor boards before setting them down properly. He picked up his phone and slid it into his pocket then made his way across the room, finding his shoes as he went.

He might have stayed longer had Kenny not been in such a rush to leave. His mom wouldn't be home until at least ten PM and his father not until much, much later. Butter's didn't care to think about him mom driving around and around fretting herself thin. Or his dad staying out late with people who weren't his mom and yet doing exactly what a husband and wife should be doing. He supposed that might be where some of his internal self hatred came from and maybe he should be angry at his parents for that but as he was getting older it was becoming harder and harder to be angry at his parents because he was coming to realise that they were nothing more than people and broken people at that.

Butters hovered in the bedroom doorway on his way out, willing Kenny to say something.

"Goodbye," Butters pressed.

"Bye," Kenny answered absentmindedly, giving up on his hair and running his hands through it exasperatedly so it stuck up haphazardly in every direction. Butters preferred it like that anyway though he didn't voice this opinion. What would be the point? It wasn't for him.

"Bye, Ken," Butters urged again, kicking himself for seeming so needy.

Kenny stepped away from the mirror and caught Butters' sleeve between his thumb and index finger and pulled him close. He kissed the corner if his mouth gently, without heat or passion and Butters smiled despite himself, "Goodbye, Leo,"

"Goodbye, Ken,"

On his walk home Butters shoved his hands deep in his pockets and stared at the ground, watching his feet drag tracks into the snow. Somehow the outside world managed to be warmer than the McCormick house.

Butters thought of Kyle. Of course he would need Kenny. His life was pitiful in a different sense than Butters' but Kenny was there nonetheless. His mind wondered as he walked, he mused about how Kyle always looked angry, how he always followed Stan around and how Stan always followed him back. The blind leading the blind, both expecting the other one to know what they were doing. Everyone said they were in love. That they should just admit it but it seemed they couldn't. And now Kenny was going to Kyle's house. To keep him company.

Butters felt a pang of anger followed by a wave of guilt. There was little point in being angry at Kyle, or Kenny for that matter. There was only one person he could blame for getting into this muddle: himself.

**Author's Note:**

> "You take a lover for a dirty weekend, that's okay  
> But when it's over  
> You are looking at the working week through the eyes of a gigolo"
> 
> -
> 
> Okay, next chapter should be up within a week so stay posted! 
> 
> My tumblr is @buttersscar if you wanna follow / talk to me :)
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed, I reply to all of them and it makes my day!! <3


End file.
